On June 11, 2012 at approximately 7:40pm, I was sitting in row 7 of section 206 at Staples Center when my legs began to shake uncontrollably.
My dad was sitting next to me, texting with my mom, who apparently asked him if I was crying. He said something to the effect of "No, she looks like she's in shock." And I was. After 45 years, my LA Kings were minutes away from winning their first Stanley Cup. They were up 5-1 and it hit me that they were actually, finally going to win the Cup -- there wasn't enough time left in the game for them to realistically
not win. And as that realization spread from my brain to the rest of my body, my legs began to shake. Eight minutes later, with the final score 6-1, I jumped up and down in jubilation, and the shaking stopped.
My legs haven't shaken uncontrollably like that since then... until Tuesday night.
I was sitting on my sofa, flipping between CNN, ABC and NBC, doing frantic math in my head, reloading multiple websites showing electoral college maps on my laptop, and the shaking started again. Another life-altering realization began to spread through my body. But unlike 2012, this was not a jubilant realization... it was fear.
Percentages of votes counted were going up. Hillary Clinton's electoral college numbers were not.
It began to hit me that I lived in a country where enough people had gone out that day and made a decision I did not agree with or understand and, because of that (and our archaic electoral system), our world was going to madly change.
Those people had cast a ballot saying they believed a bigoted bully with zero experience in public service or foreign relations was a better choice for US President than quite possibly the most qualified presidential candidate in recent history.
They had cast a ballot saying they believed a man whose only goal in life has been to make and keep money for himself would be able to make un-biased decisions about what is best for our country, our environment and our planet.
They had cast a ballot saying they believed that a man who objectifies, cheats on and shows zero respect for women should have the power to nominate Supreme Court justices who can legislate what decisions women can and cannot make about their own bodies.
And they had cast a ballot saying they believed a man who made a boatload of promises about "change" that are clearly unconstitutional will actually be able to fulfill them.
Rather than jumping up and down in jubilation as I had on that great night in 2012, I began to cry out of utter disbelief and confusion.
I didn't understand how this could be happening, and 24 hours later I still don't.
Maybe that's because I was lucky enough to be raised by two parents who always put food on my plate and a roof over my head and sent me to college where I got an education focused on the First Amendment.
Maybe that's because I have gay friends who were finally able to get married three years ago.
Or maybe that's because it's November and it's going to be 90 degrees outside my house tomorrow.
I'm scared for me, for my friends and for the planet my baby nephew and soon-to-be-here baby niece are going to inherit.
I went to bed last night emotionally exhausted.
I woke up this morning and for a few brief moments thought it had all been a bad dream. Then I realized it was not.
I was numb this morning. Then I went on social media. I began to see communities comforting each other. And then I saw this...
And those poetic words from Maya Angelou reminded me of the wise words of our sadly outgoing First Lady Michelle Obama -- "When they go low, we go high."
So now that the shock is starting to wear off 24 hours later and reality is setting in, I am (for the time being) putting my Canadian immigration plans on hold. (Their
website crashed last night about the time my legs started spasming anyway.) Instead, inspired by posts of friends and like-minded community members today, I've decided to turn my sadness and disappointment into action...
It's time that we -- the lucky ones who have a voice to speak up and time and/or money to spare -- become the helpers and make sure that the world we live in is not destroyed over the next four years.
I have been a proud member of the
Natural Resources Defense Council (NRDC) for years, but I will become more involved now that we will soon have a President who doesn't believe in Global Warming and wants to create jobs by reinvigorating dirty fuel sources like mining and oil pipelines when we have progressed so far with clean energy (which also offers multiple employment opportunities) over the last eight years.
The
American Civil Liberties Union has already assessed the President-Elect's unconstitutional proposals and are ready to fight in court to protect our rights. They are also working on ways non-lawyers can help them take action in addition to/in lieu of just making donations.
And Trump has vowed to defund
Planned Parenthood, which would mean the end of quality, affordable healthcare for many woman who have no other options. We can't let that happen.
These are just a few of the organizations I will be "helping."
Who will you help? How will you rise?
Please share in the comments. I need to hear that "the good" is still out there.
