Rather than live tweet about the Emmys like everyone else did tonight, I decided to hold all (and I mean ALL) my commentary for the end of the show and have complied all the thoughts that ran through my head for the last three hours here, in one handy blog post for your reading amusement. Enjoy.... this has to be funnier than the show was :)
- While I love Neil Patrick Harris, I think this show would've be way funnier if Tina and Amy were hosting. (Note: the show started 4 minutes ago, and Amy and Tina just crawled up the stairs to present the first award after heckling NPH from the front row in 3D glasses.)
- Thank god Lena Dunham hasn't won't anything yet tonight. "Girls" is such an over-hyped icky (yes that's the word that describes it best: icky) show that needs to go away. Thank you Julia Louis Dreyfuss and female Modern Family director for beating her.
- Two tributes in, these special tributes to the chosen five performers who died this year are a real downer...and we're not even to the two really tragic deaths yet.
- Had I known Elton John was performing live I would have shelled out the $300 for a ticket in the balcony I'm allowed to purchase as a former winner/nobody member of the ATAAS...(plus a dress and shoes and ride...) Oh wait, he just sang just one depressing song? Nevermind.
- Just when I was gonna say "Yay Homeland won something!" They say the winner (Henry Bromell) died earlier this year and his sad wife comes out to accept Best Writing in a Drama on his behalf. Depression is starting to set in.
- What!?!?! Christine Baranski didn't win best supporting actress in a drama for The Good Wife?? This show is sad.
- I really wish it was next Sunday already. Then I'd be watching the season premieres of The Good Wife and Homeland instead of this.
- Cory Monteith tribute. More depression, peppered with a "drugs are bad" PSA.
- Yes! The Voice is Best Reality Show! Finally something I watch won! Yay! And isn't this like the first or maybe only second time The Amazing Race has NOT won this category? Interesting...
- Wow. Jeff Daniels wins Best Actor in a Drama for The Newsroom. I watch that too but that's a real shocker. For him too: "Well crap. Didn't expect this." Tough category. Wonder if the top contenders cancelled each other out?
- I don't even watch Breaking Bad (yet), but I feel like I should say Bryan Cranston and Aaron Paul were robbed tonight.
- Clip of Walter Cronkite tearing up as he delivers the news President Kennedy died, followed by Carrie Underwood singing "Yesterday." Anybody got a Prozac?
- Is the microphone moving up and down on Jimmy Fallon supposed to be funny? He's better than that.
- Best Lead Actress in a Drama? Claire Danes, suffering from Gwyneth Paltrow's "My Boobs Are Too Small for This Dress" syndrome, and talking about her writer who won earlier and died. Prozac? Anyone? Anyone? Bueller?
- Standing O for Bob Newhart. Finally an alive old person being acknowledged. Yay.
- NPH knows this is the Emmys and not the Tony's right? At least the Choreography segment wasn't depressing. And Derek Hough wins an Emmy to go with his 17 billion DWTS Mirrorball trophies.
- James Gandolfini tribute from Edie Falco. Okay, where are the tissues?
- James Cromwell wins best supporting actor in a movies/miniseries for American Horror Story, another show I will watch one day. All I'm thinking in my head is "That'll do pig, that'll do," while my mom is wondering aloud what happened to his hair.
- Steven Soderbergh of Behind the Candelabra wins for Best Director - Movie/Miniseries. That's a shocker. (And that's sarcasm.) Just like Michael Douglas winning for Best Actor and Behind the Candelabra winning for Best Movie/Miniseries in about 6-10 minutes will be. (More sarcasm.)
- Bryan Cranston congratulates Claire Danes on her win. She just looks at him sadly as he says he's still got his fingers crossed in his category. Sad. Then they present Michael Douglas with his Emmy. Oh my gosh! That's the most shocking win of the night! (Did that sound authentic? ;)
- Behind the Candelabra wins for Best Movie/Miniseries. Did I call that or what? (Zzzzzz.)
- I just told my mom I'm adding her quote about James Cromwell's lack of hair to my blog. She would like me to add that she also said he is very deserving and that it's great to see actors with such a large body of work, like him and Ellen Burstyn (who she would also like me to note "is very elegant"), win. Okay. Noted.
- Will Ferrell's outfit. Now that's funny.
- Steven Levitan just agreed with me that this is the "saddest Emmys ever" while accepting Modern Family's Best Comedy Emmy. WIN! (Oh, and Yay Modern Family!)
- Breaking Bad wins Best Drama. Good for them (I assume...I'll tell you for sure after I binge-watch it on Netflix during December rerun season).
And that's all folks!
19 years ago today Friends premiered. Nine years ago today LOST premiered. September 22 is apparently a good day to premiere excellent TV shows.
And to air depressing awards shows about TV shows.
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