random thoughts on the 2018 oscars

I am not excited about the Oscars at all this year.. so get ready for either very few or very snarky comments.

In terms of predictions, I will say I'm 110% sure Gary Oldman will win Best Actor for Darkest Hour, and 100% sure that Coco will win Best Animated Feature. Other than that, I hope The Shape of Water wins Best Picture, because it was beautiful visually and story-wise and was the only film nominated that didn't make me depressed or angry this year.

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The Preshow

Mira Sorvino and Ashley Judd are both wearing very different yet gorgeous purple dresses. I assume they will be saying something about the #metoo / #timesup movement tonight... 

Yay! Patrick Stewart is there. Every show is better with Patrick Stewart.  #makeitso

I'm not going to be able to deal with another hour of Michael Strahan hosting this pre-show...

Shout out to my friend Linda, who is sitting in a trailer on the side of Hollywood and Highland right now with her finger on the bleeping button for the Oscar app's live streaming content...

Whoopi Goldberg, EGOT winner. And soon to be Worst Dressed Winner too... wow.

Jennifer Garner, always classy. But she's about to do a show written by Lena Dunham. #doesnotcompute

Yay! Lin-Manuel Miranda! Can't wait for Mary Poppins Returns. Do what he says and help Puerto Rico here.

Is it over yet??

Oh.. for those who don't watch Animated Shorts, here's Kobe Bryant's Nominated short "Dear Basketball," live from the Hollywood Bowl last September 1st, with John Williams conducting the score live as Kobe narrates. Kobe is apparently the first NBA Player nominated for an Oscar..

The Actual Show... 

Jimmy Kimmel going there right off the bat with supporting the #metoo movement, and then making fun of Trump and Pence. And promoting the March for our Lives on March 24th. Love him! Oh and he's giving away a jet ski to the person with the shortest acceptance speech.... some film editor will get up and just say thank you and win. #markmywords

That set is very Beauty and the Beast.. are they displaying the nominees for Production Design?

Best Supporting Actor goes to Sam Rockwell for Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri. #notashocker  (speech time: 1min 29 seconds)

Best Makeup and Hairstyling goes to helping Gary Oldman win his soon-to-be Best Actor Oscar for Darkest Hour.

(Not that I'm counting, but I'm 2 for 2 so far based on the things I randomly circled on my Entertainment Weekly Oscar Ballot at around 3:30pm today...)

For Best Costume Design I predict Beauty and the Beast... and it goes to Phantom Thread, which I could not bring myself to watch because all Paul Thomas Anderson/Daniel Day Lewis movies end up being 3 hours of my life I'll never get back. #noregrets (speech time: 36 seconds)

Best Documentary Feature goes to Icarus. I didn't choose a winner in the Documentary categories because I don't watch them.

Best Sound Editing = Dunkirk. This and Sound Mixing are where Christopher Nolan's epic will be awarded.

Best Sound Mixing = Dunkirk. Told you. I'm now 4 of 5 for categories I guessed on the ballot for...

Oh forgot to mention that Mary J. Blige performed her nominated song from Mudbound in between the Documentary and Sound categories. I was packing boxes to ship tomorrow during that so forgive me. I will be paying attention during the Coco song that makes me cry though..

Nice stance on DACA/the Dreamers from Lupita Nyong'o and Kumail Nanjani.. both dreamers, as is everyone in Hollywood. Aww.

Best Production Design goes to The Shape of Water! Yay! I'd picked Blade Runner 2049 because well.. it was BIG. But Shape of the Water was gorgeous. Hope this means it will also win Cinematography.

Yay! The sad Coco song, "Remember Me," written by the composers of "Let It Go." Remember when John Travolta screwed up Idina Menzel's name that year... #goodtimes

How many world premiere trailers are Disney/ABC dropping tonight? Already had Mary Poppins Returns and soon there will be the Roseanne reboot... oohh.. ahh.

Rita Moreno is wearing the same dress she wore when she won the Best Actress Oscar for West Side Story. #funfactlearnedduringpreshow

Best Foreign Language Film = A Fantastic Woman from Chile.. If these guys win the Jet Ski, that's gonna be one hell of a shipping fee. Jimmy Kimmel better hope he talks a long time....

Best Supporting Actress past winners montage was very #girlpower

And the Best Supporting Actress is Allison Janney for I, Tonya. #alsonotashocker She's won like a billion Emmys but this is her first Oscar nomination. Didn't love the movie, but she was great as an evil, selfish mother.

Kobe Bryant just won an Academy Award!! Best Animated Short Film for Dear Basketball. Wow.

Best Animated Feature Film goes to Coco #reallynotashocker

Best Visual Effects Oscar goes to Blade Runner 2049.

Film Editing goes to Dunkirk as well.. I'd picked Baby Driver for the opening scene alone. Oh well...

And here comes "the bit" Jimmy Kimmel is taking celebrities next door to the Chinese Theatre to surprise the audience watching a Wrinkle in Time screening... Mark Hamill, Gal Gadot, Armie Hammer, Lin-Manuel Miranda, Emily Blunt, Guillermo Del Toro, Ansel Egort, Margot Robbie, Lupita Nyong'o.... wait for it..

Okay.. asking a normal human to introduce Tiffany Haddish was daring Jimmy. But the normal humans at the theatre seemed to love the celeb interruption.

Best Documentary Short Film goes to Heaven is a Traffic Jam on the 405. I don't know what that short is about, but I can tell you that NOTHING about the 405 is heavenly...

Having Tiffany Haddish and Maya Rudolph present two of the most boring categories (shorts) was truly a stroke of genius! #hilarious

Best Live Action Short Film goes to The Silent Child. Does saying and signing the acceptance speech count as double time in the Jet Ski contest?

And now for the writing categories..

Awww. I forgot Logan got nominated for something. It was SO GOOD!

Best Adapted Screenplay goes to Call Me by Your Name's James Ivory. Yay! Great film! (Note: James Ivory is now the oldest winner in Oscar history at 89 years old.. wow)

Noticed it a while ago, but notice how all the envelopes have the categories written on the outside of them REALLY BIG and how all the presenters are showing them to the camera? LOL.

Best Original Screenplay goes to Get Out. WOW! That's a surprise. Congrats to Jordan Peele. (He's the first black writer to win for Original Screenplay.)

Best Cinematography goes to Blade Runner 2049 ... I was rooting for The Shape of Water here, but can't complain because that movie was visually stunning (even though it was about 40 minutes too long).

Six awards left....

Song and Score, Director, Lead Actor/Actress and Best Picture... it's 5 minutes til 8pm. I predict the show will end at 8:32pm.

Best Score goes to The Shape of Water -- yay! Although I'd have loved to see John Williams win.

Best Original Song presented by Lin-Manuel Miranda and Emily Blunt / Mary Poppins ...  goes to "Remember Me" from Coco.. aww I'm gonna cry again. That song is so beautifully perfect for that film.

Now In Memorium.. to a Tom Petty song. Sad but sorry, Eddie Vedder is no Dave Grohl singing a Beatles song.

Interesting... Emma Stone is presenting Best Director instead of Best Actor. The nominees are "four men and Greta Gerwig" Woot!

Best Director Oscar goes to Guillermo Del Toro for The Shape of Water... he deserves it. Even if a woman didn't win, at least someone from another country did.

So all the remaining major awards are being presented by women it would appear... except for the top secret Faye Dunaway / Warren Beatty do-over of Best Picture.

Best Actor in a Leading Role presented by Jane Fonda and Dame Helen Mirren.... goes to Gary Oldman #duh. Great, emotional, eloquent speech.

Best Actress in a Leading Role presented by former winners Jodie Foster and Jennifer Lawrence... goes to France McDormand for Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri. She said she was hyperventilating.. she looked a little crazy.. but yay for the female inclusion speech!

And now Best Picture... hopefully. (It's 8:38pm. I lost my end time guess...)

And they're back... Warren Beatty and Faye Dunaway. Let's see the outside of the envelope please...

YAY! The Shape of Water wins! So happy!! And Guillermo Del Toro checked the envelope before he started speaking. LOL

And the Costume Design Winner gets the Jet Ski!

End time 8:49pm PT. Goodnight...