However, I'm working on a hour-long Tivo delay because I was signing refi docs for my house at 5, which means I should catch up around 6:45 as I skip the commercials and rap categories.... here we go:
First up, to set expectations, here's what I care about:
- When is Adele singing?
- When is Lady Gaga doing her Bowie tribute?
- Since they've been posting pix from all over LA this weekend, does that mean U2 is going to make a surprise appearance?
- And most importantly, is Dave Grohl there? Because Dave Grohl makes everything better.
Look it's Taylor Swift opening the show. Shocker. She cut her hair. I wish she'd sung Bad Blood. Then the cameras could have found Kanye in the audience... or John Mayer... or a JoBro .... or Katy Perry and created a fun awkward moment.
LL Cool J is hosting again. Does no one else know how to host this show?
And there's the Adele/Lionel Richie "Hello" joke. Took all of 3 minutes...
Rap category. Fast forward. (aka ff)
It's some guy singing with Carrie Underwood. She is very tan. (Sorry.. that's all I got. I was making dinner reservations on Yelp during that performance.)
Arianna Grande introduces The Weekend singing the song from "50 Shades of Grey." Somehow my Twitter feed already thinks he won something for this song. This is also the song that made "50 Shades of Grey" an Oscar(c) nominee. I really preferred the Ellie Goulding song...
That song wasn't that song...
Ooh speaking of Ellie Goulding, here she comes singing with Andra Day. I saw Ellie at the Bowl at the Katy Perry concert charity show a year and a half ago. And I saw Andra open for Lenny Kravitz at the Greek in September. She is AMAZING. Mark my words and remember her name....
Yay. They are singing the good "50 Shades of Grey" song. (Did I just say that?)
So they're saluting Lionel Richie. What do any of the people LL and James Corden just introduced (with the possible exception of John Legend, who's also a pianist/singer/songwriter) have to do with Lionel Richie? Demi Lovato and Meghan Trainor?? Umm well at least they can sing I guess. But Meghan Trainor looks like Nia Vardalos with brown hair... and that's all I can think about right now.
Tyrese is doing "Brick House." Was Bruno Mars (who's sitting behind Lionel Richie in the audience smiling like a dork) not available for that?
Is there ANY network Ryan Seacrest is not on? (Note: I do NOT want to see him host the Grammys instead of LL Cool J.)
Fancy in-the-round camera work on the intro to the Little Big Town "Girl Crush" performance. Love the acapella start followed by the strings.
Those are some snazzy bright sneakers Stevie Wonder is wearing.
Ahhh... so instead of one super depressing "In Memoriam" segment, they are doing musical tributes to those greats who passed away in the last year.. and by "the last year" we mostly mean the last 45 days. :(
AHH Dave Grohl is there!! (audience shot) YAY!
Taylor Swift is more excited for Ed Sheeran beating her for "Song of the Year" than I think she would've been if she won. He's so cute in his suit and Chucks... and thanking his parents for coming every year even though he never wins... til now. And saying he can't believe Stevie Wonder just gave him a Grammy. I heart him. And way to cut off his fellow songwriter Amy with the Glenn Frey clip as she started to speak... oops.
Now the Eagles' first performance without Glenn Frey. Don Henley looks like he's going to cry. I am too.
Great duet by Tori Kelly and James Bay. I love when people just sing with some stringed instrument.
Yay! Hamilton! This is probably the only time I'll see this cast perform live.
Kendrick Lamar. I feel I should watch this. Normally I would ff the rap. That's a damn big fire inside Staples Center... I hope it's far above my Kings' ice. Way to bleep out a good 10 seconds of the song there censor with your finger on the button. That was pretty intense.
Look it's Seth McFarlane to present Best Musical Theater Album. Gee.. I wonder who's going to win this.... OMG! It's Hamilton (shocker). Lin Manuel wrote a rap for his acceptance speech. Of course he did.
Ooh. And now the live Gwen Stefani Le Target commercial. No pressure. She's like Alice in a Cruella de Vil Explosion... in a Barbie hair salon... in a speakeasy. And wow. She can roller skate. Or maybe not. What just happened. I'm so confused.
And the Foos lose "Best Rock Performance" to Alabama Shakes!?!?!?! WTF. No.
Yay! Bruno Mars! But wait. Why isn't he singing??? Oh, he's introducing Adele. That's allowed then. YAY! Shhh.
Why is the piano louder than she is? Sound guy... you SUCK. Oh. My. God. She looks pissed. Someone is sooooooooo getting fired. She looks and sounds beautiful though (now that I can HEAR her). Her dress is what I refer to as a "good red." And there is no doubt she sang that live. Wow. Such power and emotion. Love.
Bieber. I want to ff.. but I can't look away. Wait. He won a Grammy? So Bieber now has as many Grammys as David Bowie??!?!? Shoot. Me. Now.
Time to go get a glass of wine and some frozen Thin Mints. This has been a very traumatizing last 10 minutes since that Gwen Stefani Target commercial came on. Oy.
Nia Vardalos.. I mean Meghan Trainor just won Best New Artist. Okay. Stop crying. As anyone who isn't Christina Aguilera will tell you, this isn't necessarily a good thing. #bestnewartistcurse
Here's "Academy Award Nominee Lady Gaga"... the Bowie tribute. She's just about the only person other than him who could pull that performance off. Wow. And we thought her Sound of Music tribute was amazing at the Oscars. Now I miss him all over again. Aww. Nile Rogers is playing on "Let's Dance." Love.
Now a salute to the incomparable BB King. Miss him too. Geez the last year really sucked for losing great musical talent.
Alabama Shakes is performing. ff out of spite. #foofightersforever
Whoa stop! It's Dave Grohl... "the leader of Foo Fighters with FIFTEEN GRAMMY AWARDS!" Aww. He's talking about Lemmy. #riplemmy
(Ed. Note: They've actually only won 11 Grammys. And Nirvana only won one. So Dave only has 12. Some Grammy fact checker just got fired too.)
Alice Cooper, Joe Perry, Johnny Depp, Duff and Matt Sorum.... The Hollywood Vampires. I love that this is on CBS right now. All the old people who watch CBS are like, "What is this scary man with black circles around his eyes and blood on his shirt doing on my television and why is Johnny Depp playing guitar with him?" Hahahaha.
"Ace of Spades" tribute to Lemmy. Dave needs to be playing with them. Run out there!
Oh, it's the little piano prodigy I saw on "60 Minutes"... Joey Alexander. He's 12. He has talent. Right now, Justin Bieber has more Grammys than he does.
Now the dreaded "In Memorium" segment. It's packed with so many greats gone. So much amazing music. Nice extra long moment for Natalie Cole at the end since she didn't get a tribute segment. Unforgettable indeed.
This show is now officially too long.
Lifetime Achievement Award to Earth Wind and Fire. Another loss. Maurice White.
T-Swift just won Album of the Year. She's the first woman to win this award twice. Nice #girlpower speech... as she's surrounded by her male producing squad. Le sigh.
Beyonce doesn't need an intro apparently.
Bruno wins Record of the Year for "Uptown Funk." I support this decision. Geez Bruno Mars is short.
That means it's over now right?
Wrong.
Pitbull still sings? Is this necessary? This sounds like the Macarena. ff. Wait. Why is Joe Perry participating in this? Oy. More wine....
Oh thank god it's over. That was SO not necessary.
Okay. Break down the stage so my LA Kings can come back home....
PS: U2 never showed up. :( I guess Adam was having too much fun at The Getty today....
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